Change of Heart

There has been a change of heart, a change of mind, a change of reason as to why I do the things I do. Not only has the first four weeks of college molded me, but it is also teaching me to grow up in my faith. Up until this point I had not realized what a childish faith I truly had, how I became accustomed to getting things my way. For the first time in a long time I feel as though God is saying no, that I just need to wait this one out and grow from it. It hurts, I can tell you, to put down your own desires before the Lord and trade it in for His desires. To basically say, God, let your will be done whether or not I am happy with the circumstances. God is molding me, but it's painful...I mean, whoever said discipline was easy? The crazy part that I can't seem to wrap my mind around is that the Lord is actually doing this because he cares for me and because he wants what is best. Well, through out these trials I can easily admit to you that I have failed, that I haven't been a faithful servant of Christ that I thought I was, but instead turned out to be a big baby who is frustrated from not getting her way. I've reached this point that there's no way to look but up and just pray that I am given the strength to be obedient to His will.

"The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."

Psalm 145:14-19