Another Reason, Another Season

God is good and he has so much to teach me. Even in the midst of frustration I have to trust that he is holding me and has not forgotten me. Today is just one of those days...I'm not exactly sure what God is trying to teach me but I can only rely on Him to get me through it. So here I venture into another season of testing and of discipline and I am far from knowing why.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Although this is a verse that I have heard many times, it really sinks in and is comforting to know that God does know the plans he has for us. While we run around like chickens with our heads cut off, God is up there on his throne and has total control.

Hot Soup

So I apologize to whoever ends up reading my blogs because it seems that the only times I actually log in is to vent. So here I am, frustrated at the disappointments in life. Things just don't seem to go the way they are supposed too, such as parents providing for their children or actually taking responsibility and doing something about their situation. Things have changed so much since I graduated--so many responsibilities have just been dumped in my lap like hot soup...and here I am, pulling out all of my crazy analogies. So, I take comfort in the fact that God knows what we're going through-he knows and I don't blame him for our trouble because it is definitely not his fault. Why do people blame God for our silly decisions? He's here to comfort us and help us to get out of the hole that we have fallen into. Oh God, only you can bring relief to such a desperate situation.

Pumpkins

I feel like carving pumpkins and going to a corn maze. I miss Jacob and I am ready for him to come home. So God is pretty much amazing and I'm so amazed at his provision. Honestly, I don't have much to write these days and I can't complain much... :)

Done For Today

So I am super excited because I am done with work for today! I normally would call Jacob right about now but then I realized that:
1) I forgot my phone at home
2) Jacob is not in town
Well, praise the Lord, things went well today and God has been really good! I was able to talk to Jacob this morning and it sounds like he's having a lot of fun. Tonight I will probably go to college group and I'm pretty excited about that too.

And He's Off!

So Jacob is off to Indianapolis today. He called and left me a voicemail letting me know that they were about to board the plane and that if I called him around five he should be in Atlanta by then. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours and I already miss him! Next Monday seems a long time a way...pray for safe travels please!

Blah Blah Blah!

So after two days of frustration, I finally buckled down early this morning and read my Bible. I'm not sure if you have felt the way I have, just extremely apathetic and sluggish. I went to bed last night with a sense of despair-what was wrong with me??? After tossing and turning all night I finally woke up early and talked to the Lord-I confessed to him my apathy, laziness, and my struggles (as if he didn't already know!) and then took comfort in his word. At a time when I felt like I really traded in God's glory for filthy rags, all I wanted to read about what His forgiveness and love to me. I read out of Romans 8:28 and on--how nothing can separate us from God's love, absolutally nothing. The entire time that I felt distant from the Lord, he was right there with me. It's so easy to choke over the struggles of this world and to throw your hands up and give up. But God is greater than that, and I'm so thankful. So as for now I am trying (with God's strength) to climb out of this hole of apathy that I have somehow dug and have fallen into. I'm struggling with sin, and of course failing, but at the same time I am thankful for God's grace and mercy in my life.
So Jacob is leaving for Indianapolis on Wednesday and I am really going to miss him. Eventhough I am proud of him, it still stinks when he has to leave. On a brighter note, one of my really good friends from high school text me and we are going to try to meet up for dinner tomorrow night-I'm so excited! She has such an amazing heart for the Lord and i'm so thankful. I really miss some of the girls I went to high school with--some of them moved away, which is a bummer. On a random note, God is doing cool things, and today is the last day that I have to do my service project for JCC! Woohoo! As much as I like to serve, i really haven't enjoyed this service project mostly because I felt forced into it by FPU. I have decided that I want to start getting involved at the Well. I want to serve and get closer to the Lord and start going to Bible Study! I need fellowship badly-that's something I've been lacking in.Well, tata for now!

A Gassy Adventure

So after much deliberation and a change in my mood, I decided to change my blog template back to the happy pocka dots because that's how I'm feeling today. I suppose over the course of my time my templates will change here and there, depending on my mood. So, today is Monday, often the dreaded first day of the week. I have about 15 minutes till my next class and instead of choosing to study I decided to sit down and write a blog. So, some exciting events for this week:
The Big Fresno Fair! Yes, it's finally here. Don't forget to check out the farting cow, it's a new dairy exhibit that I read about in the newspaper. I am totally excited-I can't wait to see all of the animals and the cute bunnies! The thing I love most about the fair is that it's usually around the time when the weather begins to cool off. So, in other words, we have 2 days for the weather to cool down so all of Fresno can enjoy the fair.
So this morning I went to go pump gas at 7/11 and it was one of the most frustrating experiences I have had in my history of fueling. So, here are the steps to my gassy adventure:

1) Swipe card; try pumping gas-no go :(
2) Next step: Lock car, go inside 7/11, swipe card, go back outside, unlock car, try pumping gas-again no go.
3) and 4) Repeat of step 2.
5) Finally, the clerk had to come out and help me pump the gas and we realized after practically 5 tries that something was wrong with the nozzle, not me!

I ended up moving over to the next gas tank and using that one. Thankfully, no one was in line to pump gas behind me. The downside was that it took my like 20 minutes to get fuel, which I'm pretty sure is some time of world record. The great part is now I feel like an expert and i'm pretty sure I won't feel nervous the next time I need to obtain gasoline for my vehicle.

Long live the farting cow!

Morally Challenged

So this week has been tough-God has been amazing, but the same sin keeps rearing its ugly head in my life. I'm beginning to think that something is seriously wrong with me if I keep tripping over the same mistake, over and over and over! I'm praying, i'm fighting, i'm struggling, and I feel as though nothing is happening. I know that I should embrace God's forgiveness, but it's kind of hard when after I've asked I end up messing up again, sometimes right after I finish praying. For me it's all about trying to take my thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ. Please pray for me, i feel like a failure. God is good though-that's for sure. I think i've decided that i'm just a bit morally challenged. Hmm...

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!" -Romans 7:24

Change of Heart

There has been a change of heart, a change of mind, a change of reason as to why I do the things I do. Not only has the first four weeks of college molded me, but it is also teaching me to grow up in my faith. Up until this point I had not realized what a childish faith I truly had, how I became accustomed to getting things my way. For the first time in a long time I feel as though God is saying no, that I just need to wait this one out and grow from it. It hurts, I can tell you, to put down your own desires before the Lord and trade it in for His desires. To basically say, God, let your will be done whether or not I am happy with the circumstances. God is molding me, but it's painful...I mean, whoever said discipline was easy? The crazy part that I can't seem to wrap my mind around is that the Lord is actually doing this because he cares for me and because he wants what is best. Well, through out these trials I can easily admit to you that I have failed, that I haven't been a faithful servant of Christ that I thought I was, but instead turned out to be a big baby who is frustrated from not getting her way. I've reached this point that there's no way to look but up and just pray that I am given the strength to be obedient to His will.

"The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."

Psalm 145:14-19

I'm Just Not Feeling It

So I think the week is starting to catch up to me and wear me down. I'm also becoming super frustrated because I need a car and I am not even close to having enough money to purchase one. I'm absolutely tired of adjusting to the schedules of other people and having to wake up extra early or leave late just because I am running on somebodies timing. And the thing I don't understand is why I always have to learn a spiritual lesson every time that I am frustrated. My stomach also hurts and I just don't want to be at school today-thankfully I have an orthodontist appointment and am able to leave early, but as for now I just want to go crawl back into my warm, comfy bed and crash. I want to just give up and quit. Don't get me wrong, God has showered me with tons of blessings but right now I am just choosing to be pouty-it's just one of those days. Please pray for me about the car! I'm irritated because it's not as if I want one to make me happy or to look cool, I just genuinely need one now.

Killing Apathy and Finding Contentment

Sorry guys, this post is totally random, all my thoughts just thrown together. Hope you can keep track. :)

Do you ever feel like you are in a downward spiral? Yeah, so that was my week and I can see how I flunked in so many areas. I realized that I was frustrated and refusing to see the blessings that the Lord had for me. I was reading Jimmy Needham's myspace and something caught my eye:

"There is a phenomenon of supernatural apathy and a lack of vigor from a majority of American believers. We have bought into Satans lie that God just wants us to be happy. So we seek only to please ourselves, never looking to the lost with a broken heart, praying but never acting. This cannot be the Lords will."

I obviously was not content in the Lord and was trying to find it (yet again) in other people and things. I keep whining about how I hate being at school, how I'm unhappy, and how I honestly see no purpose in me being where I am. I got caught up in the mindset that my sole purpose in life is to be happy. Forget God's will right? Wrong. God has placed me here for his purpose and his will. I'm not happy with it? So what Arev. Suck it up. I want to do God's will and I'm tired of moping around, refusing to see all of the glorious things that God has been doing and is going to do. Sure, transition is hard, but that's okay. I need change, I need to be thrown out of my comfort zone, because now I am required to lean on the Lord for guidance. The last two weeks I felt apathetic and completely self absorbed. Now my question is, how do I find contentment in the Lord? I've been running on empty, and I'm ready to be filled with God's joy. I want to serve, and I want to work with what I have.

College is certainly not what I expected it to be and I think it's hilarious how I had all these plans and how they have all fallen through. Then I realized that I was not putting my hope in the Lord, but (as silly as this sounds) in college, in having fun, in experiencing new things. Well, I am definitely experiencing new things, just not the things I was hoping for. I really thought it would be easy, but it's not. I was talking to Azad and she said that maybe I should stop questioning if God wants me at FPU but rather embrace it. Embrace where Christ has me and just run with it. Okay God, I'm all yours. Do what you have for me and help me to be obedient.

When Nature Calls ,You Run!

So even though I have heard this a lot, college is extremely different from high school. I've decided to make a mental list:

1) When you gotta go, you just go! So, I was in my self defense class and I really had to go to the bathroom, and I didn't realize up until that point how trained I was from high school to wait and raise my hand (I didn't actually raise my hand, i knew that would be silly, but I considered it). I finally just got up the nerve to get up and go, and it didn't even phase my prof! He didn't care and neither did anyone else!


2) New terminology. It's no longer "teacher" but Prof, no longer "cafeteria" but caf, no longer...well, i can't think of any other term, but I'm liking it.

3) No annoying administrators/teachers keeping track of you.

There are tons more freedoms that I am really enjoying but I feel even more tired now that I am working and going to school. I miss Jacob and right now we are just adjusting to each other's schedules-we even decided to trade so we know when to reach each other. In other words, college is going great and I'm extremely thankful. I still feel a bit wierd at times because I'm still making friends, but I know that the Lord will bring those in good timing.

Frustrated

I'm so frustrated at life right now. I know God is going to do good things and he has the best planned for me, but right now I just don't see any of it. This last week has been really hard and I thought I was handling it pretty well, but now I just feel stuck. Everything I had planned just seemed to fall through and I'm left here feeling disappointed and that the same time trying to trust that I'm in the Lord's hands. All I feel like doing is crying and it's all out of frustration. I'm trying to lean on the promises that Jeremiah 29:11-13 holds, which says:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I honestly don't feel like going to Fresno Pacific anymore and I feel more disappointed than anything else.

...

"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."

Galatians 6:14

This week was certainly not what I expected it to be and was filled with disappointment, frustration, and a terrible attitude. I was also very tired and felt as if the sin I was struggling with was simply swept under the carpet until I could deal with it later. One question Loren asked us at church was, "What are you boasting in?" In other words, what is that one thing (or several things) that I have just been clinging to and hoping desperately that it would satisfy me and make me happy?

After thinking about it I knew that all week I had been boasting in the things of this world, like wanting to drive a nice car, live on campus (which also fell through) or looking a certain way. I also grew to be dependent on other people and things rather than the Lord. It is shameful to say that I chose to put so many things before the Lord this week and that in turn made me miserable. It's like I knew what I was doing wrong and I kept doing it which in the end comes back to bite you in the butt.

However, God has shown me his grace and compassion. He has not given me what I deserve and I'm so thankful for that and that there is absolutally nothing I can do to gain God's favor or make up for my sins.

On another note, today is Freshmen orientation which means that I don't have to go to work!I'm excited about meeting new people and I realize that it is so much easier to make friends in college than it is in high school! Everyone is just so kicked back and pretty dorky like myself. Jacob is also (lordwilling) going to come pick me up so we can spend some extra time together that we normally wouldn't have.

"If I find in myself a desire which nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Big God

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the desert and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise."
Isaiah 43:18-21

I want to go on a missions trip, maybe Africa. It's so easy to become tangled into things of this world, things that are so inferior and minute compared to the living God. You think at the time that they are so important, and then you realize how big God really is. God is huge and he sees such a huge picture. I think I've concluded that God is big, I am not and his ways are so much cooler.

Blah Blah Blah

God is good no matter how I feel. This morning I woke up and felt a bit down because I know I haven't been seeking the Lord as I should. I'm not sure if you have ever woken up with a burden on your heart, but it was just one of those mornings. It's Wednesday, 2 more days of the week left! I have to admit, I feel rather blah at the moment, not only emotionally but also in my relationship with the Lord. The sucky part is that I know that it is my fault-although SWC was amazing, it still threw off my time with the Lord. Everytime I'm thrown off like that it's a bit difficult for me to get back into a regular routine, which is something I have been working towards. By the way, I saw my roommate yesterday and it looks like we are all settled as to who is bringing what for our dorm. I'm so thankful that Brittany isn't high maintenance and is cool with whatever. We're pretty excited about decorating our room :) So, i am off to work. Sorry you guys, this blog entry was pretty lame today, sort of reflecting my mood at the moment.

Off to Spirit West Coast

Well, I'm off! I'm not sure how many of you really read my blog, but to the 3 of you who do, I would just like to let you know that I am super excited to go to Monterey. I look forward to wearing my lovely John Deere hat that Jacob gave me and to go see Toby Mac! Have fun while I'm gone, maybe I'll update in Salinas.
MESSAGE FOR AZY:
If you are reading this sister, I miss you! I know SWC is going to be totally lame with out you (okay, maybe not TOTALLY lame) but you are in my prayers! I love you and I can't wait until you are able to come home!

Lunch Break Devo!

So my lunch break is over in like 5 minutes, but I thought it was pretty cool because I didn't really feel like eating my burrito today but the Lord totally provided pizza! Anyways, I read this verse and felt compelled to share it on my handy blog-its a good reminder not to be selfish with the money God has provided me with. Enjoy!

6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9As it is written: "He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever."[a] 10Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. 11You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
12This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. 14And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. 15Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

1 Cor 9:6-14

I have a roomie!

So I am totally excited because I just found out who my roommate is for the Fall, and it's actually my friend from high school. I totally left it to the Lord and I was praying that whoever it was it would be God's will, so I'm really thrilled about that. Today, praise God, was a good day, or rather, I am thankful to be following such a good, or rather, GREAT God. I struggled a little in certain areas, some sin that still seems to rear its ugly head, but other than that, it's all gravy. I also spoke to Jacob today and he actually got off of work yesterday at 11 at night! That poor boy, he is so exhausted and he really needs prayer. I'm so proud of him, he works so hard, and i haven't heard him complain once. Such an honorable person! Prayers for him would be fantastic!
Thanks you guys!

Starbucks and a Movie

So this weekend I felt nothing but anxiety and my relationship with the Lord seemed to be on hold as I worried about all of my concerns. I felt like all day I was holding everything inside-even at church I decided not to go up for prayer because I guess I didn't feel like sharing with a complete stranger my prayer need-I knew I needed to talk to someone who knew me and I guess wouldn't judge me for my sin (not that the prayer deacons would). After driving mom home (and realizing that I was supposed to teach the girl's Bible Study) I drove back and went to Small Groups. As time went by anxiety was building and it wasn't until afterwards that I was really able to feel better. Brooke and I went to another room and talked for about half an hour, and I think that was when I just broke down and told her all of my worries and fears. Last week was really difficult at work, a time of humbling and character building and on top of that, my emotions were going wacko! I didn't know how I felt about anything and today it finally all spilled over. Brooke is such an amazing, patient young women who seeks the Lord and provides some awesome godly advice. After talking to her I was able to call Jacob where we ended up going to Starbucks. I was able to tell him everything that was bothering me, and praise God, as usual, he was as patient as ever and completely understanding. He was also honest with me about the things he couldn't really answer and knew that only God would be the one who would truly be able to answer me. We also saw my friend Joey, from high school, and that was nice. I hadn't realized how much I missed West Campus, when all year I hated it. Anyway, Jacob and I ended up joking around and split this wierd lemonade drink that he didn't like and ended up flicking wads of paper at each other. It was such a sweet time, I feel like that was the first real time we were able to sit down, talk, and really enjoy each other's company. I guess something I realize is that I worry way too much for things that I don't need to worry about-I know I said this in my other post, but it's honestly the truth. I thought that I had given up everything to the Lord, but I was far from it. Going to Small Groups was also convicting because I was able to see a lot of areas that God could work and improve me on. But back to my evening...

Jacob and I ended up coming back home where dad made Spaghetti and we watched Meet the Robinsons with mom and dad. Mom thoroughly enjoyed it and I was very proud (and impressed) because dad stayed awake through out the entire thing! I feel like the burden has been lifted from me and even though I am tempted to worry, I know that I follow a sovereign God who is greater than my troubles, worries, and fears. It turned out to be a pleasant evening after all. However, I don't feel to ready to go back to work, the weekend seemed so short! I also miss Azad and Arpee! God is in control, I am not. And that's that.

By the way, please pray for me because I am also very ancy and a bit frustrated.

I've been Tagged!!!

A. Attached or Single: Attached to Jesus!
B. Best Friend: Jesus and my sisters!
C. Cake or Pie: Chocolate Cake!
D. Day of Choice: Friday
E. Essential Item: My Bible!
F. Flavor of Ice Cream: Chocolate-doy, doy!
G. Gummy bears or Worms: Sour gummy worms ( I agree with Arpee, except for the part of them being stale. That would just break a bracket)
H. Hometown: Fresno
I. Indulgences: Chocolate Ice Cream!
J. January or July: January
K. Kids: Yuck, never. lol
L. Last Movie I saw in a Theater: Indiana Jones-that movie was a bit wacko if you ask me!
M. Middle Name: Joanna
N. Number of Siblings: Dos
O. Orange or Apples: Oranges!
P. Phobias or fears: Fear-I hate hights! Even in my dreams I am gripped with fear!
Q. Quote: "If I find in myself a desire which nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
R. Reasons to Smile: Jesus, totally. And Jacob, but mostly Jesus. lol
S. Season: Spring-oh, I love when the flowers just start to bloom and there is a cool breeze. If Spring was a place, I'm pretty sure I would live there.
T. Tag 3: Jesus, haha. That would be pretty tight if Jesus had a blog, maybe some guy named Jesus has one (think Spanish) but that obviousally wouldn't be the same. I guess Jesus (Christ, that is) does have a blog, the Bible! Except we can't really make comments or post things on it...okay, that was quite a tangent.
U. Unknown fact about me: When I was younger I always wanted to be a cat so I wouldn't have to do any chores.(and I wanna live on a farm)
V. Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: Oppressor, definitely. I praise God for cows.
W. Worst Habit: Not hanging up my clothes and overeating.
X. X-rays or Ultra-sounds: X-rays all the way! I am so intrigued by our skeletal system!
Y. Your favorite food: Oreos! and chicken Shawerma from the broilers)

Setting My Heart On Things Above

"Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

Colossians 3:1-4

So, a humbling realization is that I have not been setting my heart on things above, but rather on my own life and relationships. I also have come to grips with the fact that there are just some things in life that I absolutally can't control, and there is really no use in worrying about them but rather to trust that God is taking care of them. I think a lot of times I tell the Lord, "Don't worry about it, I got this one" but the truth is, when ever I try taking things in my own hands, disaster strikes! And then, I am brought to my knees in humble submission, realizing that it was not me who was supposed to be in control, but rather, God. Now, you have to know that this isn't the first time I have learned this lesson, nor (I'm sure) will it be the last. But at the same time, I feel so liberated. I didn't realize how much I was worrying about things that I could have been trusting in God with all along. At the same time, I feel like I am at a standstill, kind of uncertain of what to do next. How do you go from letting go and letting God? And that has been my prayer-that I would just focus on Jesus and growing in Him-because that's ultimately what matters the most.

I am also super excited that I was able to talk to Azad last night-apparently there is reception at main camp. I am so proud of her and am amazed to see how much she is growing, which is a huge reason that made me want to start evaluating my walk with the Lord and made me want to grow in Him even more. She reminded me that my relationship with God is so important and that God is the one who is going to sustain us. At church yesterday I was also reminded of how I was not putting God first. We had this conversation on how we as humans try so desperately to put our hope in other things or people, when ultimately we come out dry. I have gap that only God can fill and satisfy, and I want to be content with Him alone.

Going to Work

So I woke up this morning at 6 am ( I don't have to be at work until 10). I spent some awesome time with the Lord, first journaling and then praising him through music, and then diving into the Word. I think God is teaching me how to praise Him when things suck and I've realized that as soon as things seem to go wrong I'm not so enthusiastic to give God glory. That was something we talked about at small groups, how when things are great we are totally praising the Lord and then when things go in the opposite direction, we are thinking, "God who?"

Yesterday was just one of those days at work-I just kept messing up and I even ended up transfering the wrong person! This morning I realized that I wasn't keeping my eyes on the Lord, but rather on my own mess ups. I am so thankful that Jesus loves me inspite of who I am and what I have done, and the fact that there is nothing that I could possibly do to ever gain his love or affection.

I'm also super excited about living on campus and I found out yesterday that our move in date is August 21st (Arpee's birthday!) . However, I'm trying to not get to excited just in case things dont work out as planned. I've decided to trust God about it and leave it to Him. So as I listen to Shane and Shane on my computer, I will leave you with an awesome verse to get your day started (not to mention mine)



"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." ~ Psalm 118:27



Just know that whatever you may be going through, God is totally walking with you. Even when you feel like crud, he's standing next to you and feels your pain and your suckiness. lol I'm excited to see how God is working in me! Have an awesome day!!!

Into His Presence

My heart longs for You
My soul thirsts for You
Show me the place
Where I can go and meet You

Underneath Your waterfalls
Deep will call to deep
Rapids and breakers will wash over me
I long for You in a dry and weary land

Take me into Your presence
Into Your courts
Lord I'm longing to worship
Face to face
I will bow at Your throne
I was made for this alone

Why so downcast oh my soul?
Put Your hope in God
For I will yet praise You
My God and my Savior

At night your song is with me
By day Your love surrounds me
I lift up a prayer to the God of my life
I long for you in a dry and weary land

I think this pretty much sums up my thoughts at the moment.

Chillin' with the Lord

So this is my first blog and after much deliberation (and the fact that Arpee tagged me) I decided to start one as well. I think I'm mainly doing this to track my walk with the Lord and to see Him move in amazing ways in my life. Today was just one of those days that you have a lot of time to sit and think and sleep, and then wake up and think some more. I realized that I wasn't seeking the Lord as I should be and I've even become complacent, which is scary. This song by Starfield came on my Ipod and some words stuck out to me:

"What do I have if I don't have you Jesus?
What in this life can mean any more?
You are my rock, you are my glory,
You are the lifter of my head."

I want to be sold out for the Lord and to just grow closer to Him. I want to be stretched and to mature in walk...I'm tired of comfortable Christianity. God is worth so much more than I think I make Him out to be. I'm so thankful for His grace and the fact that He is so sovereign. I'm excited to see what Christ is going to do in my life and in my heart-I'm ready to be transformed by His amazing love!

"Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2