Pumpkins

I feel like carving pumpkins and going to a corn maze. I miss Jacob and I am ready for him to come home. So God is pretty much amazing and I'm so amazed at his provision. Honestly, I don't have much to write these days and I can't complain much... :)

Done For Today

So I am super excited because I am done with work for today! I normally would call Jacob right about now but then I realized that:
1) I forgot my phone at home
2) Jacob is not in town
Well, praise the Lord, things went well today and God has been really good! I was able to talk to Jacob this morning and it sounds like he's having a lot of fun. Tonight I will probably go to college group and I'm pretty excited about that too.

And He's Off!

So Jacob is off to Indianapolis today. He called and left me a voicemail letting me know that they were about to board the plane and that if I called him around five he should be in Atlanta by then. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours and I already miss him! Next Monday seems a long time a way...pray for safe travels please!

Blah Blah Blah!

So after two days of frustration, I finally buckled down early this morning and read my Bible. I'm not sure if you have felt the way I have, just extremely apathetic and sluggish. I went to bed last night with a sense of despair-what was wrong with me??? After tossing and turning all night I finally woke up early and talked to the Lord-I confessed to him my apathy, laziness, and my struggles (as if he didn't already know!) and then took comfort in his word. At a time when I felt like I really traded in God's glory for filthy rags, all I wanted to read about what His forgiveness and love to me. I read out of Romans 8:28 and on--how nothing can separate us from God's love, absolutally nothing. The entire time that I felt distant from the Lord, he was right there with me. It's so easy to choke over the struggles of this world and to throw your hands up and give up. But God is greater than that, and I'm so thankful. So as for now I am trying (with God's strength) to climb out of this hole of apathy that I have somehow dug and have fallen into. I'm struggling with sin, and of course failing, but at the same time I am thankful for God's grace and mercy in my life.
So Jacob is leaving for Indianapolis on Wednesday and I am really going to miss him. Eventhough I am proud of him, it still stinks when he has to leave. On a brighter note, one of my really good friends from high school text me and we are going to try to meet up for dinner tomorrow night-I'm so excited! She has such an amazing heart for the Lord and i'm so thankful. I really miss some of the girls I went to high school with--some of them moved away, which is a bummer. On a random note, God is doing cool things, and today is the last day that I have to do my service project for JCC! Woohoo! As much as I like to serve, i really haven't enjoyed this service project mostly because I felt forced into it by FPU. I have decided that I want to start getting involved at the Well. I want to serve and get closer to the Lord and start going to Bible Study! I need fellowship badly-that's something I've been lacking in.Well, tata for now!

A Gassy Adventure

So after much deliberation and a change in my mood, I decided to change my blog template back to the happy pocka dots because that's how I'm feeling today. I suppose over the course of my time my templates will change here and there, depending on my mood. So, today is Monday, often the dreaded first day of the week. I have about 15 minutes till my next class and instead of choosing to study I decided to sit down and write a blog. So, some exciting events for this week:
The Big Fresno Fair! Yes, it's finally here. Don't forget to check out the farting cow, it's a new dairy exhibit that I read about in the newspaper. I am totally excited-I can't wait to see all of the animals and the cute bunnies! The thing I love most about the fair is that it's usually around the time when the weather begins to cool off. So, in other words, we have 2 days for the weather to cool down so all of Fresno can enjoy the fair.
So this morning I went to go pump gas at 7/11 and it was one of the most frustrating experiences I have had in my history of fueling. So, here are the steps to my gassy adventure:

1) Swipe card; try pumping gas-no go :(
2) Next step: Lock car, go inside 7/11, swipe card, go back outside, unlock car, try pumping gas-again no go.
3) and 4) Repeat of step 2.
5) Finally, the clerk had to come out and help me pump the gas and we realized after practically 5 tries that something was wrong with the nozzle, not me!

I ended up moving over to the next gas tank and using that one. Thankfully, no one was in line to pump gas behind me. The downside was that it took my like 20 minutes to get fuel, which I'm pretty sure is some time of world record. The great part is now I feel like an expert and i'm pretty sure I won't feel nervous the next time I need to obtain gasoline for my vehicle.

Long live the farting cow!

Morally Challenged

So this week has been tough-God has been amazing, but the same sin keeps rearing its ugly head in my life. I'm beginning to think that something is seriously wrong with me if I keep tripping over the same mistake, over and over and over! I'm praying, i'm fighting, i'm struggling, and I feel as though nothing is happening. I know that I should embrace God's forgiveness, but it's kind of hard when after I've asked I end up messing up again, sometimes right after I finish praying. For me it's all about trying to take my thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ. Please pray for me, i feel like a failure. God is good though-that's for sure. I think i've decided that i'm just a bit morally challenged. Hmm...

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!" -Romans 7:24

Change of Heart

There has been a change of heart, a change of mind, a change of reason as to why I do the things I do. Not only has the first four weeks of college molded me, but it is also teaching me to grow up in my faith. Up until this point I had not realized what a childish faith I truly had, how I became accustomed to getting things my way. For the first time in a long time I feel as though God is saying no, that I just need to wait this one out and grow from it. It hurts, I can tell you, to put down your own desires before the Lord and trade it in for His desires. To basically say, God, let your will be done whether or not I am happy with the circumstances. God is molding me, but it's painful...I mean, whoever said discipline was easy? The crazy part that I can't seem to wrap my mind around is that the Lord is actually doing this because he cares for me and because he wants what is best. Well, through out these trials I can easily admit to you that I have failed, that I haven't been a faithful servant of Christ that I thought I was, but instead turned out to be a big baby who is frustrated from not getting her way. I've reached this point that there's no way to look but up and just pray that I am given the strength to be obedient to His will.

"The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."

Psalm 145:14-19